Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Latest Doctor Report

This is NOT me..it's someone else, but it's the mask I was fitted for today. It's plastic, heated to soften then put over your face tight to mold and cool. I can't open my eyes or move my lips while it is on. I am NOT claustrophobic , thank you Lord.


******
Our trip to the doctor's was not fun. I have developed 8 more tumors in my brain. Doctor says it's time to try "whole brain radiation."

"(Whole Brain Radiation Therapy
Whole brain radiation therapy (WBRT) is used for treatment of multiple metastases. It is the most frequently used therapy for breast cancer brain metastases. WBRT has been shown in research studies to extend life and improve quality of life.
Seventy-five to eighty five percent of patients will experience some improvement or stabilization of their symptoms, especially headache and seizure. Motor loss (problems with walking, coordination, balance, etc.) is less successfully treated. Thirty to forty percent will achieve a complete reversal of all symptoms. Whole brain radiation can also be used after surgery or radiosurgery to help prevent new metastases from developing in other areas of the brain. Sometimes, chemotherapy will be held during treatment because some drugs given at the same time as radiation can increase the side effects of radiation
The possible immediate side effects of whole brain radiation are fatigue, temporary alopecia (baldness), dermatitis (skin rash), and otitis externa (inflammation of the outer ear), and hearing loss due to fluid and/or wax build up in the ears.
Long-term side effects begin to occur in six months to two years. They include deficits in cognition (understanding) and memory losses, urinary and bowel incontinence (difficulties with controlling bladder or bowel) and cerebellar dysfunction (lack of coordination). Radiation doses given over a longer period of time lessen side effects. Some doctors will give a lower dose of radiation to women whose cancer outside the brain is well controlled to lessen long-range toxicity.)
"


I will be doing 4-5 weeks of 5 days a week radiation. I will probably have short term memory loss. I currently have some loss of peripheral vision which may come back as it is not eye damage but pressure on the brain.


do I REALLY want this?? I don't want to, but I will for my family.
Alas..I did cry..I wonder, will they( the brain tumors) keep coming back??

Please pray for good results..for my friends who have cancer , for my family, for my mother who has been very ill in Florida, since my dad passed away the first part of August. She's in the hospital now, but is scheduled to be released to a Nursing Home on Friday.. She can't live alone anymore ...WAAAAAAHHH
I am not up to losing another parent ..

I'm tired, going to get lots of water to drink, a shower and then bed.

love to you all, Deena
JOYS
a wonderful husband
a cozy bed
being a stay at home wife

81 comments:

  1. Oh Deena. I'm so very sorry. You remain in my prayers, Hon.

    Hugs and Blessings to you,
    Jen

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  2. Deena ~ I prayed for you after reading your latest prognosis. I prayed for peace, strength and healing. For wisdom and for rest. In Jesus' name, amen.
    With love,
    Robin

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  3. Deena, you continue to be in my prayers. May God give you His strength through this difficult time.

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  4. Our dear Deena, Hold on and we'll pray for you. Thank you for sharing, my heart aches. Hugs to you.

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  5. Deena, I just want you to be healed. You are such a sweet, kind person and I pray that you will have a very successful outcome from this treatment!
    Hugs to you, Susan

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  6. I have "lurked" on your blog for many months now, following your progress and admiring the many pictures of home & family.

    I was very sorry to read your post today as like everyone else, I too hoped your update would be promising.

    My warmest thoughts and wishes to you as you head into this next round of treatment and I hope it works. I am not a person of faith or I would certainly pray for you.

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  7. Your spirit is incredible. My heart, my thoughts and my prayers are with you, always. ♥

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  8. Deena,

    You had every right to cry. I cried as well when I read this. I was hoping the prognosis would be a good one. I am so sorry, my friend. I have prayed for you since the day you posted about the cancer on your blog and will continue praying for you. May God send His angels to comfort you and bring you peace.

    You are still on the prayer list at Mom's church and I will be sure they get an update.

    My greatest joy for today is having you for my friend.

    Love and blessings,
    Mary

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  9. PS. Adding your mother to my prayer list. I am also praying for your friends who have cancer. Thank you for praying for aunt May. The cancer in her brain is growing and she has short term memory loss.

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  10. I regret that I do not know you personally, yet I know you some through your blog. I am crying. So disappointed about this newest news in your life. Thank you for being transparent here so we can cry with you and pray for you. I am praying for a complete miracle. I understand God uses doctors sometimes, so I will pray for them and for the procedures as well. But mostly for your body and for you and your family. Blessings, Tiffany

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  11. Hi Deena,
    I am so sorry...you are such a wonderful wonderful person. Your spirit shines through...even in this post. I will continue to pray for you and for your mom. I have a new blog. I have retired For the Love of Cottage.

    Hugs,
    LeAnn

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  12. Deena...I am so sorry the news wasn't better, but good for you to keep on fighting!!

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  13. Deena, this was obviously news I was hoping to not read. May our Lord encircle you in his arms and take control of all your pain and illness.
    Sher

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  14. Deena, you said it all when you said "this life can be so hard." I pray for grace for you and your family during this new challenge. You are a tough chick and my hero.

    Love to you,

    Jill

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  15. Deena, so sorry you have to go through this...my heart aches...I pray for God's strength to uphold you, His peace to sustain you and His miraculous power to heal you from all cancer. Your sweet sweet spirit is such an encouragement to me. Love and Hugs.

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  16. my heart aches along with others, dear deena....and tears here ....but i will continue to pray as i have every day since meeting you here....i know right now it is hard to be strong....but we will be here deena....praying that God gives you strength and healing.
    love and blessings,
    kimberly

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  17. Oh Deena,
    First, thank you for the lovely e-card you sent me a few days ago.

    Second, with my whole heart I pray AND BELIEVE that you WILL be one of those 30-40% who recover completely.

    No wonder you cried. I'd be terrfied. You have gone through so much already.

    I pray for good results, the best results, and for your Mom and for you and all those you care about.

    ((hugs and more hugs))

    Genuinely,
    Loving Annie

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  18. Dear Sweet Deena, I am so sorry your latest medical news is so sad for you, your family, and your friends. You continue to be in my prayers for healing and peace. May God Bless you and yours. Kay

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  19. Deena, I love you! I believe that this will work for you, I really do. Look how far you have come already. You can handle this, you will overcome it. Your positivity and strength of spirit will pull you through.

    Rest up, my friend, and think of all the lives you touch and how they would all love to give you a hug RIGHT NOW.

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  20. oh my word...keep your chin up girl. we are all praying for you. I can't tell you how I admire your strength and spirit.

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  21. Dearest Deena!

    You and your family are in my prayers.

    Hugs!
    Nancy

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  22. Deena, I don't know what to say that doesn't sound trite and like I don't get it, because I cant possibly imagine what you are feeling right now and what you are going through. All I know is that God is faithful, and He didn't walk you this far to leave you now. He is so loving and good. I also know what a sweet and wonderful woman you are, how beautiful your faith is, it truly shines off of you and touches any in your path. I too believe that this will cure you. This is the tool He is going to use to make you Cancer free. I am sending you such love and hugs from here, I hope you can feel them. I just prayed for you and your husband. Hang in there ( see how lame that sounds ? ) But I hope you can feel what is in my heart for you.

    Hugs,

    Rhea

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  23. Geeeeesh! It is always something isn't it? Sadly.
    I'm sorry to hear this news tonight. I was just thinking about you and thought I should check in and see how you were doing...

    You have really been through a lot and it's okay to cry.
    God bottles those tears you know??
    Hang in there Deena....you have done sooo well in this trial.
    Great disposition and great spirit about it all......
    Really.....you've been an inspiration to many.
    Be blessed my friend,
    Joyce M.

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  24. Gentle hugs. You will find the strength to get through this, take this minute by minute. This mask is more armor for the warrior.

    You're in my thoughts.

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  25. Dearest Deena,I am so sorry for this latest diagnosis. Sending my love and prayers to you as always. You are always in my thoughts sweet girl. Love you, Suzanne:)

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  26. Father, I lift up our dear sweet Deena to you. We are so disappointed to hear this news. I pray that you would encourage her for the next step of this journey. Give her peace, hope and the ability to discern the right coarse of treatment for her.

    Be with her family. May they be encouraged and filled with hope in the days to come.

    Once again, we ask for total and complete healing. Restore health to her cells and cause each new cell to be cancer free.

    In Jesus Name,
    Amen

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  27. I am so sorry. :-(

    {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

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  28. My girlz' been stronger than most will ever know. My girlz' hurt and never let on. My girlz' been encouragin when her own life was more than discouragin. My girlz', she has had pain. My girlz' still hangin in. My girlz' is going to give it one more go. My girl already knowz. My girl will do it for the ones she's loved. My girlz'...my girlz'... she's had the brains of a mastermind. She's so quick there's never been a trick that passed her by. Business and loving were side by side in her mind. My girl. Searched her out and itz been quite the year. Nothin like I hoped for and nothin that I planned. Itz been what it is and it is as it shall be. Whoz to say whatz what and why...if not her to ask questions, than why would I?
    My girlz' shez borne more than she letz on. My girl.

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  29. I will pray for you. You will overcome this!
    God Bless You!
    (((huggs)))

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  30. Deena, really sorry to hear about this. Will be praying for you and your mother too. Have a good rest now. Hugs to you.

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  31. I am so sorry to hear this. You are so strong. I have been where you are and I know it's not easy.

    Lots of prayers,
    Rachel

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  32. Blessed Be, Deena. Healing and positive energy being sent your way.

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  33. Dear Deena,

    I will pray for you, I will pray for healing and strength...


    Hugs,

    Louise

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  34. Deena, you are in my prayers, today and every day! "Not my will, but Thy will be done." Just close your eyes and feel God's loving embrace. He will see you through!

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  35. Oh Deena I 'm so sorry to hear of your news. I go to your blog every day to "hover and snoop". Just to see what you have been up to. As a fellow midwesterner I hope and pray for you and after reading all of your comments there will be a lot of prayers going up to the man above. Hugs and love..........JAN

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  36. I am so sorry to hear that the tumors keep returning. I pray that this treatment will be the one to cure you. Stay strong. Traci

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  37. Oh, I hate to hear this.I will pray for you.I know you are so tired and weary.You will make the right decision.Your family will stand by your decision.God bless you dear Deena.You are my sister in Christ and I love you.

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  38. Deena, God hears us all and He is working mightily. We're just not meant to understand. You are still my hero and I know you are so in God's favor. Love you my friend, Mollye

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  39. Sweet Deena,

    I wish that I could be there to hold your hand and take care of you. I will be praying.

    Much love,
    Dena

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  40. You are in my prayers. You are one strong woman and a wonderful example of resting in God's love.
    Take Care.

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  41. My heart just fell all the way to my feet and then they stepped on it. Deena, my friend, I am soo sorry and just devastated. I keep you in my prayers all the time..this you know. I don't understand why these things happen...but I really TRY never to question GOD. I know HE knows what HE is doing...it's just that I have such a hard time understanding.
    My heart is so heavy but I just know this treatment will make the scary things go away. I just know it!!
    I love you dearly and you just blow my mind at what a fabulous attitude you have. In all this trama, YOU HAVE JOYS and thank you for sharing them with me.

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  42. Deena,
    I am so going to keep you in my prayers. As Quakers say: I will hold you in the light.
    Hugs,
    Marilyn

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  43. Dearest Deena, may the Lord shower you with "peace that passeth all understanding."

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  44. Deena,
    I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit but wanted you to know that I've said a prayer for you as you face this newest challenge. Keep smiling that beautiful smile.
    xo

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  45. Deena ~ I am so sorry for the news you received. Your courage and strength are truly an inspiration. I continue to pray for you and your family. Your ability to still support others through all that you are dealing with is amazing. I'm ashamed that I complain so much about what I'm going through when there are others such as yourself dealing with so much more. I'm deeply humbled by your sweet words and pray that I would be better at doing the same for others. You will be this ~ you have God on your side and he is larger than any tumor!
    Keeping you close to my heart ~
    Jamie

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  46. Bless you beautiful Deena, may God help you find your answers too. Lori

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  47. Dear Deena,
    I felt so bad when I read your post. Just know we'll be upholding you in prayer as you continue on this journey. I echo Jan's prayer for you!!
    Love to you and many hugs.
    Just Ruthie

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  48. There are just no words I can think of to say to make this all better. I just pray that God guides the Dr.'s hands as they zoom in on those tumors and that you are going to be one in a million that experience NO symptoms. You are so strong to be doing this for your family but remember to do it for YOU too. You are way worth it. Whatever you may think. There is a reason in all this somewhere. One thing that I can see is that it is bringing total strangers to learn love with no judgements, pain for someone else, compassion for the unknown, and the constant sense of needed prayer. You have done all that and more for me. Increased my own prayer life and made me closer to God just by knowing you. LOVE YOU.

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  49. I was so unhappy to read your latest trial...I am so glad that you are not claustrophobic...I will pray that you do not get too many of the side effects...
    you are my hero...and I cry with you...
    {{Hugs and prayers}}
    Mimi

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  50. Deena, I am so sorry to read your post. I will include you in my prayers. God bless. Sharon

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  51. Deena, I was so sorry to read your post here! I just want to give you a big hug and tell you everything is going to be alright! You've come this far by faith, and I just know the Lord will carry your though this, too. I can't begin to tell you what an inspiration you have been to me, and I wish I could be there to just hold you up and encourage you on! Believe me, I'm here praying for you every single day, throughout the day! With love, Cora

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  52. Thankfully our God is not one that takes His cues from a list of side effects! Deena, look how you have been able to come through all this so far. YOU darling, have had very little of the expected but instead have been able to overflow with joy. If anyone is possibly the exception to the rule, it's you. "Think on these things.." Praying with you in the night. Blessings... Polly

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  53. Well THIS is what I say...Prognosis Smognosis!!! A human will tell you the worst it can get. God tells you the Best...I hadn't read this til today, late for your news, but you have been on my heart all day, and yesterday too. You would just keep popping in, and with your name, I'd get a nudge from God-PRAY...and did, while I was looking at the flowers, or listening to a chickadee. Please, don't give up-don't even think about it. You're a fighter, and we're all in there for you. Keep looking at Him.
    Love, Debra

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  54. Deena...I am praying you will be in the 30 to 40%. I am praying for a miracle for you.

    Loretta

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  55. You continue to amaze me. I hope to someday meet you in person so I can give you a great big hug! As i am going through my radiation therapy training I will continue to keep you in the forefront of my heart and mind. Patients like yourself are the reason God has allowed me the opportunity to learn this profession. It will take me 2 years to complete and I can't wait to be able to tell your story to my patients. YOU WILL SURVIVE this!!! Thank you for sharing with the "blog world". It reassures me everytime I stop by. You truly are a blessing to me!
    -Robin

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  56. Dear sweet Deena ~ you're being lifted up by so very many...I continually pray for your healing and for it to be God's will...you're my hero. Much love and hugs dear friend, xxoo, Dawn

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  57. Oh, I am sending you a great big hug!!!! What sadness must be overwhelming you sometimes as you consider this journey you are on.

    I pray for health and wisdom for you for both your treatments and for the care and concerns you have for your mother and other family members.

    You have become very dear to Chelsea and I and will be in our constant prayers.

    Becky K.

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  58. Oh Deena..that's quite a blow...I am so sorry...I know that our Prayers will get you through this as well....
    You are always in my prayers..always always...
    Hugs,
    Robin

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  59. Oh Deena, I feel so badly about this news. I was just at Jan's and saw her beautiful tribute to you and she told the sad news. I had tears in my eyes. I just can't believe this. I will continue to pray for you sweetie. My heart goes out to you. I am in such shock and such sorrow right now. I pray for the best results for you.

    God bless you my friend.

    Love, Sharn

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  60. Your bravery in an inspiration. God bless you and I will continue to pray for you.

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  61. Just stopping in to add my voice as another one in support and love. You are in my thoughts and will be in my prayers as well. (((((hugs))))) and encouragement to you.

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  62. Aw Deena may bluebirds be ahead for you,something so awful has seen you still be sweet and kind and you.My hopes and prayers are with you and may your fight be won as you deserve.

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  63. Be STRONG Deena~ we are all praying for you
    xoxoxoxox

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  64. Dear Deena,

    I think of you often, and pray for you always. You are an inspiration to so many, a gift to us all with your spirit and bravery and honesty.
    Your news has broken my heart but not my faith. I know you will be all right. I pray for you always...

    With love,
    Dorothy

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  65. OOHH Deena...As I read all that..I could hear your tears and feel your strength.
    I just have no words of *brilliance* I heart you so and will continue to think of you every day. You are Such a Dear person to me and I wish for some part of this I could take it away. I wish I could hold your hand and make a better day for you!!
    I Pray for You and your family.

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  66. Dear Deena,
    You don't know me. I have been visiting your lovely blog spot for some time now. I just want you to know I am praying for your complete recovery. God Bless you sweetheart. I will continue to pray for you! Sincerely, Darlene

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  67. Deena, I was just at Jan's and so her lovely tribute to you such a beautiful and courageous woman. I am so sad to hear this aweful news. I am lifting you up in prayer right now. With love, sympathy and prayers, Kathi

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  68. Deena........ You are always on my heart........ but you are EVER in HIS watchful eye............

    My joy is in Christ and in knowing that whatever comes into our lives does not take HIM by surprise....

    My joy is in not having to know all the reasons why but just knowing that HE is......

    I joy in you my fried regardless of the miles between us........

    I joy in knowing that one day HE will wipe the tears away......

    I joy in knowing that one day we will meet! And we will live forever with HIM........

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  69. Dear Deena, I just happen to stumble upon your blog tonight. My heart is very heavy right now. You see, 13 years ago I had a brain tumor. I had it removed and I am living a normal life now. I did lose my hearing on the left side, I had to learn to walk and drive again, but I did it, I did it because I had faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I knew if I had faith, if I truly believed, he would see me through my trials. Don't ever give up and remember the Lord loves you very much and through him, all things are possible.
    Love, Ann

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  70. Deena, My heart and my thoughts go out to you. Hugs to you and your family.

    Lucy

    http://mixedmediummusings.blogspot.com/

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  71. Deena I am so very sorry for your rescent new tumors. Seems we are in the same boat as they say, as I have 10 new tumors in my lungs...I pray for both of us and everyone else that has awful Cancer! Sue

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  72. Cancer Sucks
    Cancer Sucks
    Cancer Sucks

    God has surely sent you among us to teach us about positive attitude, joys in life and faith.

    But I still think Cancer sucks.

    Anita

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  73. Deena I am so very sorry for your rescent new tumors. Seems we are in the same boat as they say, as I have 10 new tumors in my lungs...I pray for both of us and everyone else that has awful Cancer! Sue

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  74. Deena, I am so sorry to hear this news. I will pray for you all day and hope that the radiation puts a halt on the tumors. Sorry I haven't been posting much---there's is a lot going on right now with the aftemath of the storms, but it's no excuse and I am so sorry. Love and Hugs, along with an abundance of prayers, Pat

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  75. Deena, I heard of the latest update.
    I am so sorry to hear of new struggles. We don't know why God gives us these trials to go through, but I know he will wrap his arms around you and your family.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers often.

    Hugs,
    Renee

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  76. Holy Jesus:
    You have shared Your precious Deena with us to shower our lives with beauty, hope, and inspiration beyond words. In her darkest moments, she continues to spread Your brightest light.

    Please, Lord... hear the prayers of all those gathered here and everywhere. Please heal Deena with the touch of Your sacred hands.

    We ask this in Your name... ~Amen.

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  77. Deena, you're included in our Day Of Prayer post, which was posted this evening. Many are praying for you!

    ~Blessings,
    Jan

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  78. Ah, Deena...No, not a joy. I wish I could hug you and cry with you for this new struggle you have to face. I will be praying that the treament will not be too difficult, and that it will have the desired effect. Have peace, and know that you are loved, not only by your friends and family, but by people far away who have been blessed by your courage and grace.

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  79. Deena,
    My prayers wre with you....Hugs and smiles, Katherinellen

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  80. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
    Blessings,
    susan

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~**~Your kind remarks are my angel wings~**~