I just put out a few Autumn things today & wanted to share. You can click on the pics to see the detail.
This coming week I'll be doing a Gift Away to celebrate the end of chemo & radiation so check back to sign up to win!
About Me
Each day is a gift, but I feel so tired, my original reconstruction surgery still hurts, is swollen & it hurts to wear clothes. I get discouraged and then feel guilty. I have done so well, I should just be grateful for that. I miss the old Deena . On a positive note, my hair is growing, I'll post a pic soon. I guess one truth I need to embrace is that one can't have stage 4 cancer & not have some effects for life. It changes your life, but I have my life.
JOYS
cool nights
zinnias & butterflies
locust singing
blog friends
my camera
Ipods
God answers prayers
my best friends
a new friend Dee
Deena, my sister came through Stage 4 Appendix cancer, did all the chemo, radiation, surgery, etc., and it's been several years now since then. It's taken a lot of time, discouraging days, etc., of feeling like she would never be herself again either. Slowly, but surely, you will feel better. You have put such a strain on your body now for what???? 9 months???? AT LEAST give it 9 months to gain back what it lost and THEN maybe make a comparison. I know it's seems like forever, but I bet by Christmas you will be singing carols, sporting a new hair do, a new smile, and feeling much better than today. You need healing time, girl! Pamper yourself! You ran a race, you won, take a deep breath of new life and grab a gold medal!!!!
ReplyDeleteCora
It is rough. Those brushes with death do take their toll on our mental state. But, they also make us appreciate our lives so much more. I am just sorry that you have to feel so bad when you have so much energy popping around inside! I think Cora is right though....you ran a race...you won!
ReplyDeleteOh Deena how wonderful the the end of chemo and radiation has come.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on fighting the fight for your life.
Alison
You are an amazing woman Deena. For you to have gone through - and go through what you do - and still have such wisdom and profound gratitude. WOW. (((hugs))) You are my hero - seriously.
ReplyDeleteDeena, sweet lady, Cora is correct. I don't talk much about it, but she knows how discouraged I would get because it seemed so long after all the treatments before I began to feel better...and it was so slow, such tiny steps. I guess I thought that once things were "over", I would bounce back, be healed, and be the same old Juri I once was...back to normal. I found that it has been a longer process...and there is a "new Juri", perhaps in some ways not as strong as the old one, but definitely healthy and definitely thrilled with how far I have come. You will, too, but don't get discouraged, sweetie, like I did (Cor can tell you about the tears)....because it will come back, I promise you that!!! I know I felt scared and left alone when my doctor "let me go" and said "no more treatments". I should have been dancing with joy, I guess, but it was a let down for me. No more life-line...no more fighting for my life with treatments....and I still felt so sick and awfully weak...just left out there to hang on my own. But, looking back, each week would be a tiny bit of improvement...Cora and my husband would see it, but sometimes I would get so discouraged, I would not see it.....they were right, I was wrong...I made it and so will you. I can even mow a lawn now, and I can tend to my goats and chickens!!!! It is so exciting, really, the small steps....you will see, you will get there!! I am praying for you and wish I could hold your hand and pull you forward with me! Take is one moment at a time....not even one day....just a few moments!!! You are loved...
ReplyDeleteJuri
yes, its rough. don't feel guilty. you are used to being you.. a better feeling you. and its going to come back! i promise! :) take it one day at a time.... each day will get better. keep things off the shoulder..
ReplyDeletekeep posting deena!!
we love ya!!
kim
It's good to see you blogging, dear Deena. It's normal to feel the way you do--and guilty? That's ol' Satan, himself, trying to pull you down. Don't go there. Keep looking up as I know you try to do. You have much for which to celebrate, even in your grief for your Dad. Hope I can see these pretties in person this week. I'm looking forward to seeing you.
ReplyDeleteSally
You are so sweet. :-)
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Deena, I wish you well :)
ReplyDeleteChrissie
Deena, Your autumn decorations look lovely. Although I've not been through anything like you have, I want to encourage you by saying you've been an inspiration to me, and to many others. You continue to be in my prayers. May God continue to strengthen you, heal you, and give you peace.
ReplyDeleteYAAAYYYY ....
ReplyDeleteto the end of chemo and radiation!
I am so proud of you Deena...you have such strength and courage....
You are my hero!
Hugz, Dolly
Hi Deena , just like all of the above told you , it WILL Get Better, I promise ! I felt the same way . But thank God we all made it and you are going to make it too sweet Deena . Just do what you feel like doing , and if you need to rest then rest. Be good to yourself , you deserve it .
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed day !
Deena,
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you, my friend. It is normal to feel discouraged at times, especially when you are in pain. Look toward heaven and keep your eyes on the Lord.
Keeping you in my prayers, always.
Blessings,
Mary
Stay strong Deena, we all feel discouraged from time to time..you are an amazing woman!
ReplyDeleteWarm, gentle hug...
Jamie
Deena, I just started reading your blog and you are already an inspiration to me. Be kind to yourself, rest, take it easy. You are in R and R now after that big battle. You are sweetheart and will be in my prayers from now on.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Susan
Deena, sending you a BIG hug my sweet friend. I am SO proud of you. You have traveled such a hard road, no one knows but you and our precious Savior how hard that was. But that is the cool thing, you have been Blessed with a Special time with Him that most of us will never have. You have walked hand in hand for miles with The One Who Loves You Most, and He is going to walk with you the rest of this journey too. :) Sending you my love and prayers. :)
ReplyDeletedon't be discouraged...and don't be too hard on yourself...you are entitled to have down days...and It will take a long time to come back from what you have been through...
ReplyDeletemy prayers are still with you my friend...
{{Hugs}}
Mimi
Hi sweet Deena
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are understandable. I did a post tonight highlighting a poem I saw today on a Breast Cancer Support Group pamplet. It's called "What Cancer Cannot Do". Stop by when you get a chance. It's a good one.
Hugs!
Kat
Hi Deena, my sweet friend! Just loved what Cora and Juri said, and the others, too. If love could pop you out of this, you'd be on cloud 9! You ARE strong and brave, dear heart, and it's okay to get discouraged...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what this all feels like, but I am there with you in concern and prayers.
We have such an amazing, powerful, wonderful, healing and restoring God. You are in the palm of His hand, under His wings, He knows your name...
Love, Debra
You are really a wonderfully brave and strong person Deena!
ReplyDeleteSending love and blessings to aid you as you continue to get better Deena. Tiny steps will take you forward - give yourself time and good things will happen because you are a fighter and are loved.
ReplyDeleteStay strong,
Love Mary.
I can't imagine all the pain you've had to go through--but you are amazing, and I'm so very grateful that God is answering my prayers for you to live and recover with a resounding YES. I pray that your strength will return soon--fondly, Jann
ReplyDeleteThe 'olde' Deena? She is not gone~ she has grown into the Deena you now are~ dont miss her~ remember and find her favorite things, and mix them with all the knowledge and feelings the 'now' Deena has become....like Patience....forgiving....acceptance....love....friendship....gratitude~ not to mention a living example of what faith can provide & accomplish! Every day is a GIFT~ every second of every day~ for ALL of us!
ReplyDeletexoxoxxo