Monday Nov. 5th

I heard from a friend, Dana, who I had not "talked" to for a bit. It was so

nice to hear from her. I cherish every friend I have. Later she sent

my the Pretty In Pink blinkie above.  If it's suppose to blink

it probably lost something in translation on my MACbook.

I kept busy, working with a new friend, Lennea who will

opening a new website soon. I believe it will be a most eclectic

site..here's a peak

http://www.creativecallstudios.com

I will have a shop of my own there for when

I am well enough to create again.  

Hubby ate dinner with ME last night. He is getting the idea

that I miss my place at the table. One would think his dad would 

encourage him to dine with me, but that is NOT the case. Some 

days I feel it's a struggle to see who can get the most attention

from Rich.  That's so wrong..I feel Rich must be torn between

the two of us..and my place should be at the top..

Four verses in the bible refer to this 

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife : and they

shall be one flesh" Genesis 2:24

That's not to say you LEAVE your parents  and never care for them.  I believe it also addresses the issue that parents should know that a man should make his wife

his soul mate, help mate and partner .  

I suppose as a non believer the blueprint God left us for marriage,

wouldn't mean anything. 

That is the part I struggle with, why a non believer in our home. I am sure

it is for us to work on saving his soul, but in dealing with it

I can't help but feel the presence of someone who has turned away

from God each time He has knocked on the door.  Of course I can

never know , as Rich's dad doesn't talk to me..he doesn't SPEAK to me

or acknowledge anything I do, or that I am a person , even the 

fact that I have breast cancer. 

 

Oh now you can see how I struggle daily with this. Some days the stress of it just washes over me .  I have prayed & prayed 

& prayed , but I must be closed to God's voice as I have heard no answer. It's been 

over 2 years & I have found no peace.  I would ask for prayers for peace & discernment,

along with the healing power I'll need.  

Two more days & I'll have the answer to the questions I have about

what kind?? what stage?? the size?? the date of surgery & what comes

after that.  I have a counselor also, so I'll be seeing her on

Friday..perfect timing..I'll need some help sorting out my fears.

I finally spoke with my youngest daughter about my cancer.  She is not 

going to be easy to talk to about it. I know she has a hard time 

being open with me, but I will continue to encourage her to

know I am open to anything she would ever want to discuss.

As a youngster , she was very open.  She told me once "Mom, I'll never

leave you...we'll be angels in Heaven together"   ..as I write those words

I am crying..as that is the most wonderful thought..and I pray it's 

true that someday we will ALL be angels in Heaven.  Till then

I want to be an "angel" here on Earth.  So pray with me

that we show God's love here on Earth to each we meet or 

cross paths with.

one last thing***

I opened up my Pink Scrap Book & have added some cards and thoughts 

and hope to make it a celebration of healing by God's hand.

thanks to all of you for continuing to help me down this road of life.

fondly, deena