I wasn't going to post.
Today is another one of those days, when I wonder, did I do the right thing?
I still hurt, I hate my BIG BOOB, I can't stand up straight and just standing
makes my back hurt, my tummy hard, and I can't find my waist anymore
Yes..I'm real, I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm tired, I want to be
just Deena again..NOT Deena the Breast Cancer statistic
and I'm barely through what I need to do.
My hair is cute, but I haven't the strength to put on make up, my
eyes hurt, I can't stop crying and that only makes my tummy
harder and my back hurt MORE.
Why did I think I needed a breast?? Cuz I hated my stomach
and knew ..I'd get a breast and a tummy tuck...but if
I'm too tired to function..what difference does it make??
Real clothes hurt..
and I can't get anywhere near my hubby, I hurt too much..oh to
be touched softly by his hands..but..he's afraid to hurt
me and I can't even lay so he can rub my back
so here I am
haggard and sad. but AT LEAST ..my hair is cute.
I know there are so many women out there who have breast
cancer, and they are younger than me, with babes and jobs and
no hubbies..so I need to suck it up
and GET TOUGH....
I just need a teeny bit of TLC
but where am I going to get that???
My friend Sally came and brought lunch on Monday..it was great
to have her here..but gosh I have issues. I'm just too
emotional ...I wanna laugh and feel the wind in my hair
(OH SHOOT, I'll have NO hair)
I can't WAIT till Spring
don't give up on me