Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm Up in the Air

I don't want to leave everyone wondering, but I am
wondering what is going on.

I never got news from my Neurosurgeon(Dr. JK) about my
MRI on Friday the 8th
I had my appt with my Oncologist on Friday the 15th who
also gets my results. She told me I had new tumors in
my left side in the back , and old tumors that were growing
again...getting bigger..She sent me to the Neurologist ASAP.

On Monday the 18th I saw( I'll call him Dr. JM ) one of the doctors in the group and he said the same thing. New tumors..old tumors growing again..and
too big for Gamma Knife. Possibly I need brain surgery to cut the tumors out
since Gamma Knife and Whole Brain Radiation didn't seem to get rid of them.

At the patient discussion last night , Dr J K. said he saw
NO tumors..the film just shows old things and
nothing new is going on.
Dr.JK (he's the boss of the group) told Dr. JM to have me tested again in 2 months.

When I got the call today from Dr. JM..I asked if he
agreed with that. He said it could be possible.....BUT he
would show another surgeon my films etc..and call me back.
*I hope tomorrow*

OK..I have NO confidence in anyone right now except my Oncologist.
I do NOT know WHAT to do.

Perhaps..I will call my oncologist tomorrow and ask her
opinion..and for another referral. I just want to be SURE
that I am getting the right diagnosis..as the doctor who read the MRI,
and typed the report, my oncologist and Dr JM all say I have new and
active tumors.. This is making me physically ill.

I need prayers for the ability to get the correct answer and to
feel confident with it.


  1. Deena, I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through and the confusion and apprehension this is causing you! Maybe they all need to get together in one room and look at the films and discuss it! I would definitely call your oncologist, whom you do trust, and ask her opinion. I wish there was more I could do or say...but I WILL keep you in my prayers and I have said a prayer for you while I was reading your post!

    Keep us posted!

    Much love to you!

    Lou Cinda :)

  2. Deena, this must be so frustrating for you, I wish the doctors would be more helpful!
    I am praying that they will give you good news soon.
    Margaret B

  3. Deena, So sorry to hear what you are going through...I am praying for you sweetie!! God is good!

  4. Prayed for you after I read your post. Will lift you before the throne of God daily.

    Loving you

  5. Okay, this made me mad! Why, oh why, do we get the run around from doctors? It makes no sense. I bet if their own wife/Mother/daughter was involved they would KNOW right away and not be "iffy" about it. Grrrrrr!!! Can you tell I'm frustrated for you?

    I'll go now and say some prayers for you sweet friend and for your doctors. And for me...my blood is boiling right now.

    Sending you extra hugs and love right now!

  6. Girlfriend...I'm on my knees right now! This is YOUR LIFE! You be as assertive as you need to be...be even tougher than you already are until YOU GET ANSWERS! Not knowing has to be the worst possible feeling EVER!

    When my now grown and healthy son was about 4 years old he tested positive in a preliminary test for Leukemia Back then (he's 28 now)it took 4 weeks for the tests to come back (they were sent to Cali from Oklahoma). I was a MESS until the news he was cancer-free came in...he was just very sick with a terrible bacterial infection. Waiting for so long nearly killed me.

    Those days still haunt me. Since then I've learned to better lean on God...my comfort and my protector in time of need. He healed my son. He can He you no matter what the doctors say.

    Praying for you Deena. Praying!

    Love, Rebecca

  7. Deena, I know I would get another opinion. I have been thinking about you and I'm sorry I didn't read this four days ago. I have been very busy with Penny. I am praying for you.
    I received your doll wardrobe today and I love it! I'm going to post about it!

  8. How frustrating! I can't even imagine what your going through. I'll be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Sending big hugs and many prayers your way. Jenn

  9. You just keep on calling them. Call at 8 when they open. IF they don't call back...call at 11:30 when they leave for lunch....if the don't call back, then call at 1 when they return. If they don't call back then call at 4 before they close for the day. If it was their own brain or their mother's brain, they wouldn't be so neglectful. I am praying for them all to be gone and you have just worried for nothing! LOVE YOU....Lynn

  10. As a nurse, I know how frustrating all these Doctors can be. Stay in touch with the Doctors that you trust and that have been with you from the beginning. They will do what is best for you. I'm sure by now, your confidence is pretty much shot, but hang in there and trust in the Lord. Love ya and keeping you in my prayers.

  11. Make them check and recheck. I don't know if you read my cancer blog...My Journey With Teal...but I had a really scary incident right before Christmas. It was film misread...just mentioning it. I know how horrible it is to wait...keep on them. I will check back to see what is happening.

  12. Deena,

    How confusing that all is. I'm sure you are concerned. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Blessings and hugs,

  13. Praying for wisdom and clarity for the doctors, and peace for you, my friend...

  14. Oh my sweet friend, I know this is terribly upsetting for you. I will definately pray that you can get answers that you can be confidant with, and that you can feel at peace with the decisions you will be making in the future. The Lord has been watching over you all this time, and we know He will continue to watch over you and care for you in all things. Hugs to you.

  15. Father, I ask that you touch Deena right now, with your healing power, with your comfort, and most of all, with your peace. May you grant the doctors wisdom, as we know that You have all widsom and You are our healer. Bless her, Father, with comfort that goes beyond what we can imagine.
    Deena, I will continue to pray for you, I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Karen

  16. Oh Deena, I agree with all of these sweet ladies. Just know we are all praying for you and we you will hear good news soon!

    Love and hugs sent your way,

    Darlene M

  17. I am praying! Wisdom for doctors, wisdom for you, peace of mind for you, and healing!
    ♥♥♥ Lallee

  18. I had to come back and share this verse that I read in the very next blog after reading your post. It seemed so perfect for you: Romans 15:13; “I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him. May you overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

  19. Although I don't visit you often, I continue to hold you in prayer. I will be praying about this too.

  20. Dear Dear Deena, I am praying for wisdom for you in determining which doctor to follow...and for the doctors as they review your reports that they will see what God is directing them to see....
    I am so sorry that you have to go through this...

  21. Praying for you, dear Deena--I can understand your worry and frustration--if you trust your oncologist, then I would go with what she says--if she and others think you have new tumors, then perhaps waiting 2 more months to get tested again is not in your best interest. Does your oncologist want you to get them taken care of right away? Keep pressing for answers--you and your family are your own best advocates--and know that God will help you, as He always has! All of us out here in "blogland" care so much and are praying for you!

  22. Oh Deena...my heart & prayers go out to you. Stay strong & be diligent about getting answers even if it means getting a second or third opinion. You have already been through so much and WON...I'm so proud of you and think of you often.

  23. Hi Deena:
    Thank you so much for putting Penny's button on your blog. I am truly blessed with all my new friends. Penny does not have a blog. I can't even get her to read mine! LOL
    We are going to Boston tomorrow for her physical then Monday for her dry-run surgery, then on Feb. 1st is the surgery to remove the tumor. I am so worried, I can't even think straight and I'm trying to give my worries to God but it is so hard for me. Penny is in God's hands now.

  24. Deena, I came by last night but as I was trying to comment, storms were brewing and my comment wouldn't publish. I want you to know I am praying for the CORRECT reading of your report and that the Lord give ABSOLUTE wisdom to you AND the doctors, as to your next steps you are to take. Most of all I pray for you to have the PEACE of God that no one understands come to you through it all. I can only imagine how upsetting the confusion of the report has been for you. We have a BIG GOD... and I'm asking Him to fix this mixup. May you get a good nights rest tonight and wake refreshed and confident knowing HE'S got you covered.
    Hang in there,
    Love ya

  25. Deena~ Praying peace for you and wisdom for those doctors. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will check back to see how you're doing, my sweet friend!

    Love ya,
    Michelle :)

  26. You will be in my prayers - the not knowing must be awful. Big hugs!

  27. Bob and I are very sorry to hear this latest news. We hope so much your doctors can get together and resolve the situation so you can go forth with right treatment. The confusion is not good for you. We pray for better days ahead sweet Deena, meanwhile you are in our prayers and thoughts daily.


  28. Oh Dear Deena, what can I say but sending a zillion positive thoughts and heaps of hugs and love your way

  29. Oh girl....... I am so so sorry about the confusion.... I will pray that the Lord give you WISDOM as to who to turn to and who to trust.. I will pray that the Lord give WISDOM to those that are giving you care...... THEN I will pray that the Father God heal every bit of that demon disease in your body!

  30. Deena Just read your post! How frustrating and scary when your Doctors who you are trusting your life with cant get it together on thier diagnosis! Im a nurse and have seen this first hand. It makes me furious! I am so sorry you are having to go thru this Deena as you have been thru so much already and are such a trooper and blessing to all that come in contact with you.
    Ill be praying for you and that the Doctor in charge is correct, there is no cancer in your brain now or will be again!
    Keep being proactive and insist, demand you get an answer and not the run around. they need to be reminded this is a precious life!
    "Trust in the Lord" always.. Jackie (dove2mist)


~**~Your kind remarks are my angel wings~**~