Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday ~~ Thoughts and Prayers

Just a sneak peek of my Autumn home, hand dids are my passion
Polly of Counting Your Blessings.. I love the pretty & prim together.
My favorite chippy blue stool night stand
Lotion gift of love
Just a whimsy I made!!!

It's a typical Autumn day, after a rainy morn. Just mums and the neighbors mums are blooming so brightly yellow..and the leaves are slowly warming up to bright colors and the sun's rays are dappled. I see the last of the season's butterflies dancing around the zinnias as I sit here at my desk, listening to XM Radio ..the Groove...and gaze out the window.

My daughter gave me this gift of lotion yesterday. I was so delighted by it. I pondered on why..and realized it was because it was a way for her to show how she loves me. We have always had a tight bond ..and as I lay in bed and thought of the giving, lots of thoughts passed through.

Do I make a difference on Earth?? have I touched anyone in a gentle way?? Has God's love been shown through me?? Will I be remembered fondly?? It will not matter to me I don't think , but it will matter to those who love me.. and I pray I have been a good daughter, woman, wife, mother, grandmother, friend and testament of what God's love can do.
I do not fear..I am peaceful.
My eyesight is getting worse, but I am hoping for an improvement in a few days. My head is not hurting much, I do have a hard time sleeping at night without meds, but I came home today
at about 9 AM and went to bed until 1 PM.
I feel free & I am being carried around in God's hands.
I found out I am not even half way through my lifetime cap on the insurance for the cancer..RELIEF.
Nicole and the boys will be moving out Oct. 15th.. not sure how I feel about it.. I want her to have her own place but I want her here too. I pray it will all be fine.
Thank you all for your kind comments, prayers and caring. It so makes a difference. I started this blog to help others & it has helped ME so much. God is good, All the time.
Oct 15th.. I'll draw the Journal winner on Oct. 20th.


25% through brain radiation (only 15 more)

Jesus died so we would not

Marcia my BFF



the best husband I could ever be given
My son
My daughter Mercedes
The days I LOVED my career

Sunday, September 28, 2008


Some of my past work

a good night's sleep

waking up


washing my hair

shaving my legs

doing my housework

doing laundry

watering fleurs outside

the song of a Carolina Wren

my mom is doing SO good

autumn sun

Sunday's pot of chili

Bears football

my BFF Marcia visiting

Pictures of Hunter, my BFF Marcia and Rhea's grandson

"Today is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"

Won't you share your joys with me??

I've made an Autumn Journal for a random winner

Friday, September 26, 2008

Have You Seen ???

What a treat

I received a wonderful dolly today, designed by my friend & the Holy Spirit
She is a special girl made by the hands of a special woman & friend

Earlier this week I received "Post Cards From Heaven" from my friend
Dee, tis comforting love letters from God , based on Bible verses

Thank you Fete et Fleur also for the special gifts of love
and Jettied for the awesome prim pattern


two days off from radiation
friends who pray
folks who care

Thursday, September 25, 2008

It's Thursday, Day Three

Oh my, yesterday was NOT good. I hurt so bad, lost a bit more left eye vision and couldn't eat.
My jaw swelled up on the sides by my hurt so bad..I couldn't chew at all. I talked to the doctor today and he happens with some folks, salivary glands swell..hurt and then it goes away. Well it is much better today. I was a baby yesterday. I think it's the worst I''ve felt except after surgery. Wish they'd told me to expect it. I'm taking steroids to bring the swelling down in my the headaches should get better.
My pastor, Beth came to pray with us yesterday afternoon. I started feeling better when she arrived. She's so full of love and I see Jesus shine in her face.
I have about a week, before my hair departs again. silly to worry about hair loss when your brain is being radiated..but I am. It may come back slower too. I guess I'll be wearing all my cosy cute hats again this winter.

My friend Sally came over with FOOD and her baked bread. YEAH!! I didn't have to cook.

I talked to my BFF Marcia today!! That's always a treat, talked to Church, she is so easy to talk so frankly to.

My next chore, which I have started is to find out the lifetime cap on an illness and how close am I from reaching that cap. The won't pay any claims after I hit that amount. EEEEKKK .

I've talked to the Cancer Center of America in Zion IL to see if I can get approved for an evaluation after my radiation is done. I've been saving them for a rainy day..and that day is here.

I did a bit of housework, some laundry..but Nicole did the work for me yesterday. She's been taking me to my appointments each day . 17 more to go!!!!

Tomorrow I get radiation, then on to get my Herceptin (and Zometa IV's so I'll be gone about half the day.

It is so great to read all your comments and I am slowly getting around Blog Land.

If I don't visit you quickly.. please know..I DO read EVERY post.


cool nights

`a Carolina Wren singing outside each morning before I leave for radiation

good friends

fresh Sally bread

feeling human again


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Today, Tuesday Sept 23rd

Today went fine. I am getting 20 treatments. The radiation is about 10 seconds on the right and 10 seconds on the left of my brain . The 'mask' isn't too bad since it is so QUICK. Nicole will be taking me each 8 am..and I should be done on Columbus Day.

I spoke with Cancer Center of America in Zion, IL today and will probably go for an evaluation there after my radiation is done.

I feel happy and positive tonight. I know it will get harder, but I'll face that with all my family and friends and blog friends when it comes. I'm already planning and keeping a list and a journal.

My pastor is coming to the house tomorrow to pray with me.


My friend Dee will be having chemo, but not sure when it starts or how many treatments. Seems she has to do the leg work herself. I got from doctor to doctor without making ANY phone calls. From my original mammogram to my latest was all handled for me by the professionals & their staff.

Rich, the two grandson and I all played the board game, "LIFE" ..I won..teehee

fondly, Deena

Time to take this tired body and throbbing head to bed.

Off to See the Wizard (of radiation)

I'm up and slightly painted. I took some pics of my hair. It's just long enough to need a style and just stubborn enough to do what it wants. I will let you know how today goes. It's every week day for 4-5 weeks. I hope I can drag myself around the house to do cleaning.

Today is lovely & some leaves are starting to change colors. I hope your day is blessed & thank you for all your kind comments & prayers. I do read every one . They lift me up like Angel Wings.
Please remember Dee in your prayers today as she gets her final pathology report from her surgery on Sept. 12th.
fondly, Deena



hair gel

birds singing


Saturday, September 20, 2008

Oh So Sweet

Mary dear , from Isabella's Closet made this..isn't it darling??

About Me

I have headaches all the time. My vision loss really bothers me. My head pounds, I get dizzy & my hearing comes & goes. I am quite anxious about the brain radiation & surely do NOT want to be bald again. I will be glad when it is all done.
I had so thought by now I'd be all well. It will be a year on Oct . 27th that I got my diagnosis.
I know God has a plan & I do NOT feel sorry for myself. I have seen the ravages of cancer at the Cancer Center & I know I am doing good compared to others. I am NOT afraid ..God will heal me or bring me to Him. Either way I win.
Rich is very stressed, very attentive, very loving and very protective of me. I think this has been harder on him than anyone else. This has brought us SO close & I thank our Lord for that.

I just finished reading a book by Judi Picoult "Change of Heart" ..very different but I did enjoy it. On to my next book , another by Judi Picoult "Nineteen Minutes".
Rich and I did see "Burn After Reading" ..I am a Cohen brothers fan, this was not my fave movie by them, but it was enjoyable & Brad Pitt's part was a HOOT.
One of the previews played before the movie was "The Secret Lives Of Bees" with Queen Latifa & Alicia Keys & Dakota Fanning..coming in October..I can't wait!!!

thanks to all of you who are so caring.. & please remember to pray for Sandra, Dee, Cora & Michelle ..they are all battling breast cancer too. Your prayers have gotten me this far.

A Woman of 1,000 Faces

( Click the collage above to enlarge )
This collage is me before cancer & in the stages of treatment.

I'll post a new picture before Tuesday's brain radiation treatment

Thanks to all of you for your kind words & prayers.



the beginning of Autumn
the sound of a lawnmower
the smell of new mown grass
color changes of the leaves has begun

Friday, September 19, 2008

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I start Brain Radiation on 11 AM, every week day for 4-5 weeks.
The Gamma Knife procedure in July worked, but new cancer has appeared.
I will take a picture before, so you can see how much hair I have. I expect to lose my hair AGAIN. Please pray for good results & little brain damage
Rich and I plan to go to the movie "Burn After Reading" tomorrow and then to dinner. One last date before I feel crummy AGAIN! eeekkkk I know how chest radiation kicked my butt!!

My oldest daughter and her boys are still here and don't know when they'll be able to be out on their own . It's not bad, just an adjustment to have the grandsons here all the time & she so wants her own place's hard to go back home.

Have a great weekend, Deena


a date with hubby

a bit of hair

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Latest Doctor Report

This is NOT's someone else, but it's the mask I was fitted for today. It's plastic, heated to soften then put over your face tight to mold and cool. I can't open my eyes or move my lips while it is on. I am NOT claustrophobic , thank you Lord.

Our trip to the doctor's was not fun. I have developed 8 more tumors in my brain. Doctor says it's time to try "whole brain radiation."

"(Whole Brain Radiation Therapy
Whole brain radiation therapy (WBRT) is used for treatment of multiple metastases. It is the most frequently used therapy for breast cancer brain metastases. WBRT has been shown in research studies to extend life and improve quality of life.
Seventy-five to eighty five percent of patients will experience some improvement or stabilization of their symptoms, especially headache and seizure. Motor loss (problems with walking, coordination, balance, etc.) is less successfully treated. Thirty to forty percent will achieve a complete reversal of all symptoms. Whole brain radiation can also be used after surgery or radiosurgery to help prevent new metastases from developing in other areas of the brain. Sometimes, chemotherapy will be held during treatment because some drugs given at the same time as radiation can increase the side effects of radiation
The possible immediate side effects of whole brain radiation are fatigue, temporary alopecia (baldness), dermatitis (skin rash), and otitis externa (inflammation of the outer ear), and hearing loss due to fluid and/or wax build up in the ears.
Long-term side effects begin to occur in six months to two years. They include deficits in cognition (understanding) and memory losses, urinary and bowel incontinence (difficulties with controlling bladder or bowel) and cerebellar dysfunction (lack of coordination). Radiation doses given over a longer period of time lessen side effects. Some doctors will give a lower dose of radiation to women whose cancer outside the brain is well controlled to lessen long-range toxicity.)

I will be doing 4-5 weeks of 5 days a week radiation. I will probably have short term memory loss. I currently have some loss of peripheral vision which may come back as it is not eye damage but pressure on the brain.

do I REALLY want this?? I don't want to, but I will for my family.
Alas..I did cry..I wonder, will they( the brain tumors) keep coming back??

Please pray for good results..for my friends who have cancer , for my family, for my mother who has been very ill in Florida, since my dad passed away the first part of August. She's in the hospital now, but is scheduled to be released to a Nursing Home on Friday.. She can't live alone anymore ...WAAAAAAHHH
I am not up to losing another parent ..

I'm tired, going to get lots of water to drink, a shower and then bed.

love to you all, Deena
a wonderful husband
a cozy bed
being a stay at home wife

Sunday, September 14, 2008

My friend Sandra

Remember Sandra,one of my friends who always has breast cancer?? She SO needs your prayers. Please pray for her , as she is going through some very hard life changes..
Her chemo is done.
This life can be so hard.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Dee Is Home

I heard from my friend Dee tonight. She is home, minus both her breasts and with no surgery complications.

She will get the pathology report on Thursday, please continue to pray that all the cancer has been removed

I'll be hosting a Blog Autumn Open House, check back for details
fondly, Deena

A Background & Hallow's Eve Graphic

copyright free
fondly, Deena

A SweetAnnee (me) wreath from a Homespun Heart pattern

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A bit of Nature & Doctors Appointment

Road side wildflowers in blue

Where I stole an apple YUMMY
Open Space Project , I saw about 15 bluebirds here on the fence Sunday

Our Little Nestle in the Singing Woods, shutters are ALL painted finally

I've been trying to take a walk each day. The two days it rained all day, I stayed in. Today is such a lovely day, I set out with my NEW camera. ( I used my Best Buy Rewards to get it after the doctors yesterday)

Yesterday was my plastic surgeon appt. I will get the rest of my reconstruction surgery on Nov. outpatient procedure, but I will be asleep. I'm excited about getting it all over with.

This coming Monday the 15th, I have another head MRI. I will find out those results on Wednesday afternoon the 17th. Even though I'm on the road to recovery, I still need your prayers.
I 'd like to ask for prayers for my friend Dee who is having a bi -lateral mastectomy , this Friday , Sept 12th, she is very anxious about it and needs some peace in her life. I know how much your prayers helped me, so thank you for praying for her.

Life continues to be a bit hectic with all of us here, but I must say, each day I seem to feel better and stronger, despite the hub bub..



juicy apples on the roadside tree

my new camera

the bluejays chattering

my Walk to Emmaus friends visited last evening

presents in the mail

Today is God's Gift

Monday, September 8, 2008

My Sweet Friend

gave me this  Loveable Blog award. 

She's the sweetest young lady.
I'd like to pass this on to 


love to you all
pass it on.



A friend like Chelsea

A rainy day

Making cool signs online


Friday, September 5, 2008

HollyHock Seeds & Today's Dr. Visit

I have lots to share. If you'd like some, email me your mailing address

I'll be sending them out next week, with instructions & pretty packaging.

Today's appointment with my oncologist went well, the Herceptin HAS affected my heart, but not enough to stop taking it. So I got my dose of Herceptin and Zometa. I have another PET/CT scan scheduled for November see if the cancer in my spine is gone.
Next week I see my plastic surgeon to schedule the last of my reconstruction (a nipple and tattooed color in the areola).
I can't believe it's fast approaching one year since my diagnosis. I must tell you that blog friends have been a blessing throughout this year.


Wednesday, September 3, 2008


The Ruby Throats are SO active..eating, eating, eating, and fighting for the feeder. I tried to get pictures of them fighting..but they dive bomb each other & flit so fast , it's about impossible.

My grandson Caleb, sitting on the kitchen counter (with my Race for the Cure shirt on) watching the birds at the feeders.
I put a pot roast in the crock pot for tonight, Rich says it smells like home. His mom made roasts . I think our generation grew up on them .
Rich doesn't eat meat, just fish and I usually follow that, but since Nicole & the boys are here, I have to cook two meals.
I go to my oncologist on Friday, she'll give me the results of my echocardiogram. I also get my IV of Hereceptin & Zometa. For the FIRST time, hubby hunk can't go , work is pressing. Love to all of you, Deena
the smell of roast in the house
I parted my HAIR today with a comb
a cooler day