October 27th 2009, Hope Springs Eternal

Just before my second Gamma Knife Surgery

on Oct 20th 2009, exactly one year after I

completed my Whole Brain Radiation

Rich and me in IRELAND on our dream vacation

to Italy & Ireland (Sept and Oct of 2009) ..I even got my hair cut in Venice

Keeping warm in the winter of 2008/2009

Going to the Cancer Center for my LAST Whole Brain Radiation

Oct. 20, 2oo8

This is how long my hair got AFTER chemo and BEFORE Whole Brain Radiation

Me as my hair begins to grow back the second time after WBR

Me during chemo therapy

Me after Whole Brain Radiation

My grandson Cole on left, me and my grandson Joe

after my mastectomy.

My dog Hannah, me and my oldest daughter Nicole

before my mastectomy

Hello everyone.

Today marks my 2 year survivor of

Breast Cancer. I was diagnosed with

Stage 4 Lobular and since

then I have slowly made progress .

I had a mastectomy on my right breast (and a tram flap reconstrustion) with removal of 39 lymph nodes on Dec. 12, 2007, chemo therapy starting 2/2008, following by radiation on

my right side and clavical. In the midst of this I developed Brain Mets and had Gamma Knife surgery in July of 2008. After the Gamma Knife surgery I developed more brain tumors

and had Whole Brain Radiation, 20 treatments. I've lost my hair twice .

I've been getting better and in October of 2009 I developed more brain tumors

and again had Gamma Knife Surgery to remove them. Each treatment was

successful. My body should be cancer free now..as all they saw was

the brain tumors..and those should be eradicated with the Gamma Knife I had

last week.

With God, there is ALWAYS hope.. My doctor says I'm a miracle. I say

" I am prove of God's miracle"

Thank to ALL of you who have prayed, cared, sent me love cards and gifts

and hope. I cherish each friend I've made. I hope sharing so openly

has helped some of you. I was the first in my family to have

cancer and didn't know any women who I could talk to who had

been through this. I do now and it is a blessing!!

In 2008 I lost my dad and my step mom within three months

and this year in June our sweet Collie Hannah passed away.

Yet in all this turmoil I continue to be blessed. I am stronger

in my faith, closer to my grown childen , my grandsons, my true friends and

my marriage is the best it's ever been. I consider cancer a

blessing. IT has made me a kinder and gentler Deena.

!!CELEBRATING LIFE!!

NEVER STOP FIGHTING

Fondly, Deena

Hair I Am

My oldest daughter , Nicole, colored it for me.

I had hoped it would make the back not

look so thin. It's growing slowly , the Whole Brain

Radiation is wicked. Some do not ever get their

hair back..so I count my blessings.

What I've been doing:

Gardening

Reading ~~Twilight, New Moon, now on Eclipse

Feeling pretty good

Eating well (but haven't gained any weight back..YEAH!!)

My next set of test are the first part of July and

back to the Oncologist for the results on 7/17.

Pray for no cancer!!

JOYS

Being able to do all of the above

Finding these great products from Soap & Glory

Click to see them..YUM

Still NO Hair

I have to tell you, that brain radiation sure did a number on ME

and my hair..Not a lick of hair in site

I wanted hair for Christmas, but I guess I've been naughty!!

(and yes!! I know I have BIG ears)

Off to Run Errands

My BFF is driving me around for my errands

The MRI took 1.5 hours & I'll post results as soon as I know

GREAT news!! My MRI shows that the tumors that are not

gone are less than 1/2 the size  they were originally.

PRAISE GOD

I told Rich last year before my bc, as much as I'm nesting

I am either going to give birth or die.  Lord tis ME who has been REborn.

praise His Holy Nane.  Much joy here & I've been Christmas shopping.  I LOVE

Christmas & all the love the comes wit just as I feel Autumn in so joyous.

I told Rich this AM when he woke, each day brings such joy, I cannot wait to rise!!

Tomorrow I post what my plan for our (family) is.

God's Blessings

Watching "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" with hunny hunk hubby. Trying to upload my video..A God visit & didn't want to scare others ..tteeehhheee with ugh self on it. You at least know I'm bald.

Today was a visit too Dr Diane Prager, blood work all good, except my white blood count is below 8,000 never been that low , at it's hightest it was28,oo0, they moved my MRI by my request to tommorow @ 7AM, Rich will be there. I will let you all know when we know. I was told to TAKE my Darvocet..teehee...every 4 hrs. Not as needed.

The girls( the nurse med student & nurse practitioner) cried ..cuz I cry all the time. Be not sad for me!! Nicole cried when they asked me if I was ready for this and I said IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. Much love & keep on keeping on to coin a pink friends bog. The www, this STUPID WINDOWS & all electronics hate me now. Had to have Amy @ S'more Couiterre dial my cell phone before it would work Even Sally couldn't get it right. Dr said my symptons are normal for having the radiation & permanent. Miracles do happen. At the Cancer Center today as I was leaving. I feel like taking my blog to invite only, but if I am sharing I am sharing openly and it will help others and hurt some. My goal genetic testing for Her2NEU@ 20 & sonograms on the breast of girls when the first get PaP smears!!!! 210,000 will be diagnosed with BC the year! Enough we need more womens health & as women enter this area we will GET more..

~~~DAVID COOK IS ON SNL@10;30PM , HAS A NEW ALBUM 11/20 RELEASE DATE

LOVE in HIM

God visits

I won this treasure from an altered fairy tale & it arrived today & the card came that with it made me LOL

He visits each of us daily , today as I was walking past the front door, I saw a little buck right in FRONT of the door. Oh so sweetly he tiptoed past. I knew he was going to eat crabapples, I grabbed the phone & called honey hunk hubby. Then I opened the door & went out..saw no deer. I walked closer & Mr. Deer lifted his head. I waved, (Waves at Wildlife, remember my hubby nicknamed me that ..along with W B, water bag, cause I cry so easily) . Wish it had been more than daybreak ..pictures don't take well then. God send him for me to enjoy & I did. ...I have not seen a deer near here since July or so.

JOYS

Breast Canser has been the biggest blessing with God

I brought my Rad Mask home yesterday, it'll be my Halloween mask now. Teehee. I watched "Living Proof" again. You MUST see it. Yesterday was bad and OH so good.

thank you MARY for my new banner

Friday October 10th

Tis the lovely frock Church made me

Mary Theresa Rose tag at the collar..I know my colors don't match!!! LOL

I had to try it on and have Rich take a picture as soon as I got it open..it's soft beautiful and a perfect fit. oh what a treasure.

My dear husband, honey hunk Rich

Me today, showing my hair. It just falls out, lays on my shoulders..UGH

but don't despair if this is you too, it will grow back..and hats are CUTE!!

These pictures don't show the bald patches I have . I tried to get them up close. My head itches, but when I scratch it bleeds, and hair comes out. It is funny laying my head on the pillow because it is ??a bit tender, a lil hurt??

Today was 14 of 20 treatments..70% done.. Praise God for that!!

JOYS

I had a great day yesterday, cooked supper, baked cookies, did laundry, planted a porcelain vine, did dishes, put my new acorn feeders out with peanuts, watched a flock of Bluebirds in the early AM visit the back yard and the deck..too shy for pictures though. I spoke with a local Oncology Massage Therapist, I'm excited about meeting with her (she'll come here) and I'll let you know how it goes. You may find someone near you also!!

I tried to print off 3 shipping labels from USPS..but the page won't load all the way

so I'll try again today. Works fine on Rich's MAC..now to print!! GOT THEM PRINTED...

I did put some Hollyhock seeds in the mail today, I'll be working on getting them all mailed in the next few days. Thank you kindly for your patience..I did not forget you!!!

Enjoy the day the Lord Hath made..I'm smiling big here in my sunny office

thank you for the cards, the emails, the gifties and the prayers & love

****************

Please sign up

PINK OCTOBER all month but 10/27 as my one year marker as a SURVIVOR/THRIVER

Dr Mammolito says I GOT IT ALL, LOL, that's me, way competitive, always want to be done with my tests first, get the best scores~~

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AUTUMN OPEN HOUSE

get your pictures ready..for 10/15 posting

I love Autumn..I think we as a Nation treasure it.

Thanksgiving stays a celebration feast..not commercialized

I'm praying for all of you to be blessed as I am & more

It's Thursday, Day Three

Oh my, yesterday was NOT good. I hurt so bad, lost a bit more left eye vision and couldn't eat.

My jaw swelled up on the sides by my ears..it hurt so bad..I couldn't chew at all. I talked to the doctor today and he said..it happens with some folks, salivary glands swell..hurt and then it goes away. Well it is much better today. I was a baby yesterday. I think it's the worst I''ve felt except after surgery. Wish they'd told me to expect it. I'm taking steroids to bring the swelling down in my brain..so the headaches should get better.

My pastor, Beth came to pray with us yesterday afternoon. I started feeling better when she arrived. She's so full of love and I see Jesus shine in her face.

****************************************

I have about a week, before my hair departs again. WAAAH..how silly to worry about hair loss when your brain is being radiated..but I am. It may come back slower too. I guess I'll be wearing all my cosy cute hats again this winter.

My friend Sally came over with FOOD and her baked bread. YEAH!! I didn't have to cook.

I talked to my BFF Marcia today!! That's always a treat, talked to Church, she is so easy to talk so frankly to.

My next chore, which I have started is to find out the lifetime cap on an illness and how close am I from reaching that cap. The won't pay any claims after I hit that amount. EEEEKKK .

I've talked to the Cancer Center of America in Zion IL to see if I can get approved for an evaluation after my radiation is done. I've been saving them for a rainy day..and that day is here.

I did a bit of housework, some laundry..but Nicole did the work for me yesterday. She's been taking me to my appointments each day . 17 more to go!!!!

Tomorrow I get radiation, then on to get my Herceptin (and Zometa IV's so I'll be gone about half the day.

It is so great to read all your comments and I am slowly getting around Blog Land.

If I don't visit you quickly.. please know..I DO read EVERY post.

fondly,Deena

SIGN UP FOR THE AUTUMN OPEN HOUSE HERE, I"VE MADE AN AUTUMN JOURNAL FOR SOME LUCKY PARTICIPANT TO WIN

JOYS

cool nights

`a Carolina Wren singing outside each morning before I leave for radiation

good friends

fresh Sally bread

feeling human again

prayers

A Woman of 1,000 Faces

( Click the collage above to enlarge )

This collage is me before cancer & in the stages of treatment.

I'll post a new picture before Tuesday's brain radiation treatment

Thanks to all of you for your kind words & prayers.

***********************

JOYS

the beginning of Autumn

the sound of a lawnmower

the smell of new mown grass

color changes of the leaves has begun

sunset

The Latest Doctor Report

This is NOT me..it's someone else, but it's the mask I was fitted for today. It's plastic, heated to soften then put over your face tight to mold and cool. I can't open my eyes or move my lips while it is on. I am NOT claustrophobic , thank you Lord.

******

Our trip to the doctor's was not fun. I have developed 8 more tumors in my brain. Doctor says it's time to try "whole brain radiation."

"(Whole Brain Radiation Therapy
Whole brain radiation therapy (WBRT) is used for treatment of multiple metastases. It is the most frequently used therapy for breast cancer brain metastases. WBRT has been shown in research studies to extend life and improve quality of life.
Seventy-five to eighty five percent of patients will experience some improvement or stabilization of their symptoms, especially headache and seizure. Motor loss (problems with walking, coordination, balance, etc.) is less successfully treated. Thirty to forty percent will achieve a complete reversal of all symptoms. Whole brain radiation can also be used after surgery or radiosurgery to help prevent new metastases from developing in other areas of the brain. Sometimes, chemotherapy will be held during treatment because some drugs given at the same time as radiation can increase the side effects of radiation
The possible immediate side effects of whole brain radiation are fatigue, temporary alopecia (baldness), dermatitis (skin rash), and otitis externa (inflammation of the outer ear), and hearing loss due to fluid and/or wax build up in the ears.
Long-term side effects begin to occur in six months to two years. They include deficits in cognition (understanding) and memory losses, urinary and bowel incontinence (difficulties with controlling bladder or bowel) and cerebellar dysfunction (lack of coordination). Radiation doses given over a longer period of time lessen side effects. Some doctors will give a lower dose of radiation to women whose cancer outside the brain is well controlled to lessen long-range toxicity.) "

I will be doing 4-5 weeks of 5 days a week radiation. I will probably have short term memory loss. I currently have some loss of peripheral vision which may come back as it is not eye damage but pressure on the brain.

Click here for some of the side effects of Whole Brain Therapy..

do I REALLY want this?? I don't want to, but I will for my family.

Alas..I did cry..I wonder, will they( the brain tumors) keep coming back??

Please pray for good results..for my friends who have cancer , for my family, for my mother who has been very ill in Florida, since my dad passed away the first part of August. She's in the hospital now, but is scheduled to be released to a Nursing Home on Friday.. She can't live alone anymore ...WAAAAAAHHH

I am not up to losing another parent ..

I'm tired, going to get lots of water to drink, a shower and then bed.

love to you all, Deena

JOYS

a wonderful husband

a cozy bed

being a stay at home wife