Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A bit of this ..a bit of that

My BFF Marcia, her husband,  Rhea sent this to me, 
it's was labeled 
I love nature..God is there, if you look, you KNOW 
He IS..

I'm getting ready to make breakfast for supper. I love breakfast food sometimes
in the evenings.  The boys..Rich and his dad, are having chilli and egg buritos.
I am having some oatmeal with cranberries..and toast.

My breast is hurting all the time the last few days..and the lump feels
bigger.  I can see swelling under my arms where the nodes are. It
is scaring me. I'm going to call Dr Denise, but I am sure
there is nothing to do or worry more about.  In two weeks, at 
this time of day.. 5PM..I should be all down with surgery.
I told Rich NOT to leave me that day, cuz when I wake up, he
will be the one to tell me how many nodes had to go.   He's 
going to stay the night with me that night at the hospital too.
In the days ahead, I plan to stay BUSY and reduce stress as much
as I can.  
Rich has plans to move his dad ..just him and his personals...on the
weekend before my surgery.  The place he is going will keep him
on a month to month lease for 4 months.  This is a huge burden
lifted , it will help us to concentrate on only me.  His dad isn't
ill, just not able to do some things that make it impossible
for him to live alone.
I cried tonight cuz I am scared , and Rich says he is too. Of course
he is handling MY cancer, better than I could handle him with cancer.
This is the first time, I got this dread feeling that I may not
make it ..I'll pray for this feeling to pass.  I don't need any MORE stress.
Good news today from my BFF Marcia..all the tests are back from her
surgery and ALL clear..Praise GOD!!  I need her to love me for 
lots of centuries.  
 I need some EXTRA prayers please.
fondly, Deena


  1. Deena,

    I'm glad that Rich is being so understanding. I'm sure that both of you are frightened. That is entirely normal. Cancer is scary, but we are all lifting you up in prayer. You ARE going to make it, my friend. Try (and I know it's hard) to think positively. Tell satan to get behind you in the name of Jesus and he will be cast out.

    I have just sent you an email and will be praying for you multiple times this evening and overnight. I was still up at 3am this morning (for some reason couldn't get to sleep) and I lifted you up in prayer then. I love you and wish we lived close so I could come over and give you a BIG HUG.

    Write to me anytime. Love, hugs and abundant blessings. May God's angels enfold you in their wings and comfort you and Rich as well.


  2. Oh, I've been thinking about you since the holidy an dnot being able to get back here til now. I love your new cut and think it's makes you beyond pretty, it makes you beautiful Do you thin she would come down to TN and do the same for me? ;-)

    I'm glad you and Rich had such a talk and came to an understanding and I hope it does help relieve some of the stress you're under. I wish, as I know do all your friends and loved ones, that I could alleviate not only your stress but your fears as well.

    You have my thoughts and my prayers.

  3. Oh boy, do we remember those fear feelings waiting for surgery and it's outcome. My husband has been home and has been able to keep up with your blog with me this past week. It feels like it was just the other day when it was us going through the journey you are on.
    We can say this.....that no matter what they have seen or what they think, or what the diagnosis is, there can be and have been times that the doctors themselves got witnessed to by the sudden positive outcome of their patient.
    We know it is hard to surrender right now to whatever the plan is.
    We have had that bone deep shaking fear of the future. But the future has already been determined by God. The outcome has already been decided by the Highest Healer. Your body and your mind have already been readied to surrender your physical self, and you are adjusting to that surrender daily. Your heartbeat, every pulse, every artery, every electrical synapse in the brain is and has been ordered by God every minute of your just now are having to be acutely aware of what we all go around taking for granted. While you go ahead with the banal but necessary daily life duties, now you are called inward to be mindful of each cell and each breath and the uniqueness of each of us...the wonder of us...the physical house of our spiritual souls.
    It's the rest of us, who are in the illusion that we have the next minute or the next day or week.
    Even with my husband and I. We thought we would never again get back to the "norm" of not having to be so hypervigilant about my life and health. In time, after the surgery, after the changes and after getting used to a new way of being in the world, it is remarkable to note that we have indeed, gotten back to thinking that we have all the time in the world. And also often not choosing to put the best of fuels in our bodies. See! Time heals.
    What I love is your journaling of your process so that others may see that they are in the illusion that we each have all the time in the world to do what all we wish or whim. And my husband and I are praying for only God's will in your life, as that will always be bigger and better than anything anyone of us can imagine.

  4. Deena,
    it is so very precious to be able to take this journey with you and Rich as you face each difficulty head on and then move on to what is facing you in the next step... It is so wonderful that Church... can share her experiences and feelings that she went through with you so you really know that someone does understand your fear, anger, and underlying trust in God for the outcome of this journey...
    so many of us are praying for you every day several times a day... and on Dec. 12th you will be on my heart all day long!!!
    I am so glad that you and Rich are facing this together...
    {{{{hugs for you my friend}}}

  5. My dear friend, I read your blog and I can't speak. I am overcome with emotion at your strength in Christ. As I have told you. You are my HERO. xx Mollye

  6. What a lovely dinner.

    My prayers are with you.

    Many Blessings


  7. Oh Deena, it must be so scary. When I was reading your post and I got down to the part where you said your breast hurt and the lump feels bigger, my heart sank and I shot up an "arrow" prayer to God about you. I want you to have peace and I want you to be free of cancer. Just two more weeks. You can do this. God can do this! I am happy the burden will be lifted with your FIL.

    Keep the faith.

    Love Sharon

  8. John 14:27
    "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

    Praying for you. I can't wait to see the miracle of your healing unfold.

  9. Hi sweetie, I just want you to know that I do lift you up in prayer daily!! That your surgery will be thorough and swift and that you will be CLEAR of all cancer and have the most speedy recovery ever ~ God hears, He knows. xxoo, Dawn

  10. I'm here from Mary's to say HI and try to be an encourgement. Every woman has a different journey, my sister is a two year survivor of breast cancer. Keep positive thoughts and that picture you included is nice. Ever focus on all the good things in life.
    Prayers for you and your upcoming surgery!

  11. Thanks for commenting on my blog, so i could come find you here.
    This sounds scary, and so much to sit with at times, in those moments when the big what ifs come and invite themselves into our minds.
    No advice here. Just wanting to say that I hear you and from where I am, I sit and hold the space for your journey.
    It is a courageous thing to allow ourselves to feel whatever we feel, even the fear, and to open to life beyond all of the feelings, where there is room to just be as we are.

    I will be back often as I am quite taken with your way with words, so honest and from the heart.

  12. Deena
    I came over from Mary's blog and wish you to know that I will enter you in my prayers. I read several of your post on both sites and admire the fact that you are sharing with us in blog land your trials.
    I wish to tell you that you are a beautiful lady and your daughter did a great job on the new do.
    The pictures of the first snowfall are pretty. Thanks for sharing more than most.
    peace be with you

  13. Deena,

    I wish you lived here so I could just give you one great-big HUG!!!!!!

  14. If the bible were a house and every book a room I would live in Isaiah...

    Over the years the words of Isaiah has brought me such peace that truly was beyond my understanding. I have come to your blog via Mary (she is a jewel) I speak blessings to you this day and peace and health even to the marrow of your bones.. the word tells us that He sent His word and healed them... In the sheer act of speaking the word of God that is alive and sharper than any two edged sword can bring healing to a body... I believe... I will speak healing for you to the Father every day until we hear the good report...

    Isaiah 53

    But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

  15. Thankful that your inlaw has a place to go to and that that burden has been removed! Praise God for His Care.


~**~Your kind remarks are my angel wings~**~