Friday, November 9, 2007

Thursday's Visit

I made poor hubby take a couple pictures of me
out by my favorite tree in the front yard be
fore we left.
A wonderful paper birch.

I went with the expectation it would be a teeny lump
so I would have lumpectomy. So I'm in good spirits..

We got to the surgeon's office at 3.30 PM so I could fill out 
pages of paperwork..LOL, I even filled out the part 
that asked me ..height..weight...blood pressure..OOPS when I saw
the pulse I said..OH I filled this out, I think it's for my nurse.
Ok, YES I am a doofus!!!  When we finally got into the "tiny" room
she laughed when she saw what I'd done..when she took my 
blood pressure (I'd filled in 120/80) Ok I KNOW you're roaring..
she said  "you guessed pretty close's 116/68"
YES, call me THE DOOFUS!!!

The nurse came back in ..about 10 minutes later saying Dr Mammolito
might be another 20 minutes, by this time it was 5.20 PM..did I want some 
Well by this time hubby was "acting UP" so I told her no..he's quite entertaining.
He looks in the cabinets..OH I said ..GET OUT, that's not your stuff.. I have NEVER done that...
THEN there was a blue sheet hanging on one wall, so he started doing the WEATHER...
We sat in there and talked and giggled for 40 minutes..OMG ..we laugh at the 
dumbest things..

When Dr Mammolito came in..looking sharp in a black wool pant suit
with a bit of black leather trim on her lapels..Cute hair...shook our hands and 
said "I'm Denise"!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo someone who's first name isn't DR..
I LIKE this lady!! ..then she said she was sorry for the delay..and she said she'd heard 
us laughing.. from the next room with her patient ...OMG..we are BAD!!!
She goes to work..she READS my CHART..omg..most doctors ask me the questions
I've just filled out..nope not Denise, she READS the answers..I wuv her even MORE.
Then she asks me what I know, which is basically, I have cancer in my right breast...
So she begins her exploration of MY breast..
She grabs my sonograms and the MRI reports

I tell you , the minute I see my right breast mammogram, I am MAD!! I mean furious
with myself for believing this lil Fairy Tale of a simple lump ..
It's WAY evident that is large, it's spreading..the under arm lymph node(s) are
bad..and I'm in for bad news.
She looks them over really good, measures them..looks at them hard again..
does a breast examine and finds the lymph nodes too...
She goes out to get a drink of water.. it's about 6 PM and she's been talking ALL day
and comes back in.

While she's gone ..I turn to Rich with FIRE in my eyes and say..I'm SO mad!!!!
He says ...good'll fight this!!!
So the good news is ..I won't need radiation..cuz the breast will be gone..
She'll start the surgery with a mastectomy and  a 'sentinel node bioposy'
After the node is removed, it will be tested ..I'll have radioactive material in
me that will highlight the cancer..then she may have to do a "radical mastectomy"
to remove the nodes under the arm area.. The lymph node involvement means the cancer
is NOT's possible it has gone into my body..Here comes chemotherapy 
into the conversation.. Also , the cancer has spread into my milk ducts and moved
out from the tumor like lil side roads..UGH..

Invasive Lobular Carcinoma isn't always found by mammograms. I had one last year
and I got the all clear on that mammo. If your breast tissue feels different TELL YOUR 
DOCTOR, a sonogram is better and MRI will show more. 

Bottom line..the breast has to go, you'll need lets talk about the 
four drains you'll come home your breast..let's talk about lymphodema, let's talk about  breast restoration..
Did you know ..the law says if we have a mastectomy, insurance HAS to cover breast restoration??? I didn't ..but it sounds like one win for women's health!!!
So, the plastic surgeon would come in right after Dr Denise is done
and start the breast restoration ..the same time..If  I want a nipple....
(!!! wait right there, a nipple ..will it be mine...!!!)
no she says..your's has cancer in it....
!!! I ask..will it be a real nipple!!!
a lil voice next to me says (yeah a real one, they get them from pigs)~~~~
it's my DARN husband..pointing out I'm a doofus!! 
and the doctor says to me
We all crack up..
apparently the nipple isn't real..just for looks and 
they tattoo the areola on !! LOL
Ok, so ..they may take abdomen or back skin from me
for my new breast..(a tummy tuck I think) ..
this could be good..

So..we talk alot more..we decide I'll talk to the plastic surgeon before anything is
set in stone!!  So Monday ..11/12 I go for my pre tests..blood ..chest xray...etc..
and then at 3.30 I meet with the plastic surgeon for a see if 
I want a new breast.  Hubby will go with me and he has PROMISED to 
1.. be good
2.. support the decisions I make about MY body.
By's 7 PM and I thinking ..even though doctors make 
good money, there's no time for their life..and I wouldn't want
to have that kind of life.
My daughter Nicole calls just as we get in the car. I tell 
her the news..try to make light of it..and we go home to
feed the dad and my sweet Hannah dog..
Then Rich and I go out to eat ..I have a Carmel Appletini
eat my supper and beg to go home to bed. 
I'm up at 2 AM with night sweats and 3.30 I go back to bed
and at 6AM I'm waking my self up again crying.  Horrible night mares
blood drenched body parts..Oh..I hate the night fears..Rich wakes up
holds me while I SOB..just SOB.. 

Tis the first time..I have teared up..but not's finally hit me.
I tell my dear hubby"I can't think of anyone I would rather have cancer with"
"you're my rock & my knight in shining armor"
I mean it..he's such a good man..
We have yet to talk about his dad..but I'll be down for a bit..healing for 6 weeks, then 
moving on to CheMo..which is what I do NOT want to do..I've seen what it does
and I don't want to be that sick..
 I want to be well by Spring..and back to gardening..

time to say ttfn..the grandsons are here for a bit..and I have to enjoy them
..we're going to watch 
I don't like RATS!!
but ..we'll see ..
thanks for all the support..
and I pray my blog helps someone other than me too!!
Praise God


  1. I'm praying real hard for you, sissy...keep your spirits up...
    hugs to you....

  2. What a full day you've had. But I'm glad that along the way you had some laughs with your dh and something good to eat. Your Dr. Mammolito sounds wonderful. How I've longed for a doctor like her. You know you have my prayers.

  3. Deena,
    I know you don't know me, but you know my mom, Sally. She directed me to your blog. Thank you for all you're doing to help others gain knowledge through your pain. I'm praying for you, and will include you in our prayer list for our Sunday school class. We have some great prayer warriors, so you can be certain to have prayers there.
    I know you haven't known my mom long, but I wanted to let you know if you need someone to talk to, or cry to, or just to sit beside, drink coffee and talk art, she's the woman for the job. She has compassion beyond compassion and such sympathy. I know she feels helpless for you right now and wants so desperately to help, so she just prays. I say "just" but that's exactly what's needed the most right now. I know you have other people that will be there for you, but just know she's there too. Whenever you need her. She's too humble and self deprecating to tell you that herself. I'm praying, Deena. I'm praying.
    Jennie Hughes

  4. Deena,Dear, Don't you just love daughters?

  5. Deena,
    if it helps you to know that there are many many women crying and praying with you...
    you had a very busy day... and I praise your sweet husband for keeping the banter light as you were faced with the news of what you would have to go through in order to get rid of the cancer in your body...
    you are right I believe that God knowing what you would be facing later in your life provided you with the perfect mate to go through it with you.

    Be Encouraged...

    God is holding your hand (Isaiah 41:13) For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
    when a dear friend of mind went through a very difficult time recently she had this scripture on a card in her pocket... she could reach in and feel it and look at it to remind herself that He was indeed holding her hand...

  6. Deena,

    You're such a beautiful woman, inside and out. I'm so glad to have become connected with you through Art in the Word. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


  7. Oh my goodness. You have to be so strong. I am so happy that you have such an awesome relationship with your sweet hubby. It is amazing really how great he is, how great you are together. I pray that they will get it all. I pray for guidance and wisdom as you make these big decisions.

    Bless you Deena! Sharon

  8. First time here...and I am praying for you sweet lady..I can tell that you are already....
    I will be back...GOD is BIGGER than any of this......lean on the prayers of believers to stand in the gap for you..
    My mother had breast cancer and would be here IF she would have had a mammogram..first one at age 76....and she said she knew she had a lump for TWO years.... NEW firbo doctor introduced herself has JAmi.....and she too had the cutest haircut....and your husband sounds like my beloved....
    You can do to yu and yours,
    Washington State

  9. Hi Sweet Deena,
    It sounds like you have a good doctor. I am so glad you are getting the option of breast reconstruction. That is one thing I so regret, that they didn't give it to me because I live in! I think it is a wonderful option being able to have this done, or started on the same day as your mastectomy.

    Deena, you have the same type of cancer (Lobular) I did and mine spread into the ducts and nodes too.

    Hang in there sweetie. Before you know it you will be looking back saying..."wow, I did all of that". Life becomes even more precious. Our Lord will give you what you need when you need it to get you through. He is so good, ALL the time! Praying for you and your husband. He sounds like a gem, a gift from God.

    I'm here for ya girl! Be Brave!
    love, joanna


~**~Your kind remarks are my angel wings~**~